19. Boston. White. Cis Woman. Bisexual. Sexy Fuck.
*Amazon Wishlist*

No Cost Counter Amazing people inspired since 07/09/2012

maahammy:

glitch.jpg
memeguy-com:

Cats are like little superheroes

"I think I’d most like to spend a day with Harry. I’d take him out for a meal and apologize for everything I’ve put him through." J.K Rowling. 
Happy Birthday, Jo! Thank you for existing and creating the amazing world all of us love and will cherish forever! (July 31st, 1965)

memeking69:

when youre home alone and you hear a sound

image

13 minutes ago with 50,673 notes

hellstarfantasy:

just let him have the pizza
marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:


A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.


I wanted to try anal for the first time, and before he put his dick in my ass, I looked him dead in the eye and sang the plug it in jingle. Still my favorite sex partner I’ve ever had.
What Scooby Doo REALLY taught us is that once you pull off the mask, the real villain is usually an old white man thing to steal everyone’s land or money.

bitteroreo:

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19 minutes ago with 12,049 notes

cloysterbell:

I think my favorite thing about this generation is how seriously everyone takes their Hogwarts house.

20 minutes ago with 94,208 notes

plantvibes:

cute date idea: let me sleep in your bed for hours on end because I’m tired of being a person

10 hours ago with 126,824 notes

❝Wow Remus, you really wolfed down your lunch today.❞Sirius Black to Remus Lupin at some point probably (via parslemouths)

10 hours ago with 23,249 notes

if0undnem0:

If you dont know what movie this is from, you’re probably too young